Slashblot (Infinity)
—Whirthunk whirthunk whooooooosh!—
Sorry about that... let's start again, shall we?
Background
There we go, much much better. Haha! Is it okay if I punctuate this story with —fiff-faffa whirthunk— maniacal laughter and printing press sounds? Hahaha ha ha HA! Well, methinks I'll do it anyway, so its best just to play along as if you had said yes, isn't it? Yes. I think so.
Where was I? —Whooooooosh— Oh yes, I was going to tell you a bit about myself, wasn't I? At least I thought that I might. Or did I already tell you? Maybe, hahahaha ha ha ha HA HA haha, I should give you a quiz over what you have learned?
Let's begin!
Or maybe it would be better if we wait? They say that testing right after you learn something isn't really conducive to learning. Hahaha! Phooey on that noise, let's start the quiz anyway. Show me what you've learned!
Quiz Time!
How old am I?
- A) 32
- B) 12
- C) Old enough
Wrong answer... you really suck at this. Perhaps, —whirthunk fiff-faffa— I really didn't tell you about me yet. And, thinking on it more, I am pretty sure that I didn't. It is just so damn hard to focus on things when I am constantly hearing the noise of that big angry press in the back... the one that really needed to be replaced years ago.
Background, (cont'd)
Ahem. So, as you might have guessed, I am perfectly sane, and a very level-headed guy. I enjoy tennis, long walks on the beach, unending loyalty to our Emperor, watching bad movies, and killing those who get in my way. I have been out of work at the Imperial Printshop —whirthunk whirthunk whooooooosh— since my stay in a Psychiatric Hospital and my subsequent stint in Neuron's lab. I guess, HAHA hahaha, he found me pretty interesting, or else he would have never given me the ability to manipulate...
Hmmmm? Oh.
I am so glad you asked! I have been dying to tell that story to a willing listener. It all started when we were beginning production on perhaps the largest run of promotional posters for Emperor Cole our printshop had ever seen —fiff-faffa whirthunk—. We had just finished a batch when I noticed the ink reservoir getting a bit low. So, I naturally went up to fill it. Fortunately, I forgot to turn the damn thing off hahaha ha ha HA haha and wouldn't ya know it, I fell face first between two of the process plates. It was quite a pickle, if I do say so myself, and I do, because... well, isn't this me talking now? So of course I say it!! Hahaha ha HAHAHA ha ha, hahaha haha ha HA HA AH-hahaha! *Ahem* Sorry. Or am I?
Anyway, I watched the machines print out thousands of flyers... with entirely too little yellow, for the rest of the night. It was depressing. I came out of that just fine though, wouldn't you say? Well of course you don't, you aren't the one talking here, are you? No. I didn't think so, did I? Of course I didn't. So there!! Hahaha!
Errr... wasn't I? Oh yes!
...the property of kinetic energy. And, Neuron embracing irony as much as I do... made my powers of all colors and styles, to look like —whooooooosh— printer's ink!! Hahaha HA! Well, now that I think on it, I don't really think it was his choice what colors my powers ended up looking like. I really think, that I made them that color.
And, I would be remiss if I didn't say "Long live Emperor Cole" in here someplace, so there it is. —whooooooosh fiff-faffa whirthunk whirthunk— Happy?
No, me either... at least not yet. Hahaha HAHA haha ha ha, HA! There, now I am.
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